Long and Short about Pathetic Girl II

oh crap i'm getting more and more moody.
hais.. i'm hopeless and pathetic..

shes getting too pathetic till she cant stand it anymore.
she is even starting hate herself.
she is not strong.
she is weak.
she never had much confidence to begin with.
...

that girl is so pathetic till i don wanna talk about her anymore.
looking at her pitiful face sometimes just pisses me off..

w/ mucha shits.
saaphir.

Tag replies:

ZHU: ahaha don know.. :]
YM: bu neng hao ah.. zuo bu dao..
GATTI: long time no tag ar. ahaha.. same thing. zuo bu dao..

Long and Short about the Pathetic Girl.

life meaningless.. even going to band too..
i don feel like its a part of me anymore.


a nobody.
nothing feels right.
maybe she should just concentrate on studying.
and maybe its time to go back to her quiet, reserved self.
her mouth has yapped long enough.
its time to put the zip back on.
she feels emo. but don wanna be..
she feels that everyone is leaving her.
she don know what to do anymore.
she feels sad but yet
do nothing about it..
hais.
she is a pathetic girl.
really really damn pathetic.

nothing much happened in school.
gonna flunk my eng test.
woot.

w/ mucha craps.
saaphir.

Long and Short about Nothing.

this huge emptiness in my heart is hurting. alot.


missed school. missed phy test. missed all my lessons.
i'm gonna die at eng test tmr. na buey.
:(
shit crap and more shit.
what to do what to do???

went to visit mr er today.
zheng hua is playing genroku now..
hearing zhenghua playing genroku
made our heartache.
as it brings back all the 2007 syf memories.
why must they play genroku..
peiling passed scores back to Mr er.
after their band ended..
we went home too.
hais..
etsaw emit yadot..
lol :]

why is my life so miserable?
why does it seem like my life is forever shadowed by a huge thing?.. :/
life sucks, yea?

w/ mucha loves.
Saaphir.

Brief Summary

saturday.
went bugis with xin first to buy new year clothes.
total spent about $60 only ba.. lol.
too squeezy ar bugis street!
na buey. =.= wear spaghetti strap shirt also sweat like a open tap.
we went in circles looking for the shirts we want..
xin only found one.
i found 2..
after walking for about an hour + ba?
then i went to buy my short pants.
then we quickly escape out into the open air then to BK.
found a place almost immediately.
we go buy drinks to quench our thirst.
then zhu came to meet us then went to bugis junction(BJ:X) to walk walk..
went kinokuniya.
ahh found a book damn cute and bought it.
and it wasnt for me :]
hope that person who receives it will like. :D

then after that debra came..
after that we went to the neoprint machine to pass time.
used zhu's SUPAa long hands to help us take photo.
came out nice :D
then after that went to Old Chang Kee to buy some food
to fill 2% of debra's stomach.. ahaha..
went yoshinoya to find seats first.
then finally yaoming came.
then we makan le jiu go to VCH for

Mus-Art Concert :]
fell asleep during the first half of the shows last song.
nice leh.. the flute super nice T.T i feel sooo.. inferior.. whay.
i first time went to a concert and really enjoyed songs that i ever came across before sial.
the second half was even better!!
the soprano! *screams and faints*
PRO DAO very TERRIFING!
the encore piece was very enjoyable.
cant take my eyes off you. flute solo.
*mesmerized*
but got degree one leh T.T so nice is of course de.
i still feel damn inferior. and lousy :/
overall the concert was very enjoyable :D

after that went to JE KFC makan.. then we chat alot of funny craps ahaha.
then went home le :]

Sunday.
went queensway . bought TWO white FBTs :D
one with blue sides and the other with orange. :]
kept raining, so was trapped inside the mall :/
after that manage to chiong out.
makan dinner . zao home. :]

Today.
-normal school day-
chem remedial !
first experimental lesson in 08 :]
go my hands all itchy :/ played around..
and i think i corroded a test tube's opening.
cause its all blackish and outta shape. ;/
SHHHH! :P
fun leh..

after that went to mac to study.
then makan then i'm back here! :]


oh crap, theres phy test tmr and i'm not prepared. :(


sayonara mina-san.
i'm in deep shit :/

w/ lovess
saaphir. :]

what an emotional post.

YOUR LOVE

Are you a very confused person?
Sometimes you like to be left alone.
Sometimes you want to be loved.
Sometimes you need him or her.
Sometimes you don't.
Does it sound familiar?
(from QuizBox.com)

yes. i am this kind of person.

CAUTION.
a very very emotional post ahead,
read it only when you are ready for a emo post.


its not like i din warn you.





i have been moody, very moody recently.
even though feel this way i still can be so carefree..
i even wonder if i'm psycho.
lol.
.
i smile on the outside,
but yet my heart is screaming terribly..
i hear critics, i hear ppl saying my bads, my flaws.
i did not scold nor curse,
but instead, i smile and walk away.
.
i have an inner voice that always try to persuade me to do the right thing,
and i stupidly ignored and did the opposite.
i regretted them. Alot.
well, i was never obedient.
rebellious. not by nature too.
lets just say its rebellion cause by parents.
.
i was never sociable, nobody ever listened.
i never choose to be this way.
i never wanted either.
people around me made me this way.
friends, families..
nobody ever cared.
even when the smile give is plastic fake.
nobody ever asked.
.
i scream and shout and curse in my heart.
i smile and laugh with my friends.
i bleed, cry and die in my heart.
i joke and play with my friends.
everything i do. i look happy.
when i'm with friends.
darkness partially surrounds me.
but when i'm alone.
it engulfs me, till i choke and die in it.
.
do you think i choose to be this way
or
do you think i wanted attention by typing this
or
do you think i genuinely feel this way..
.
its your choice.
and
why do i type this?
its my blog, my rights and my freedom.
its your choice to read it afterall...
.
sayonara everyone.

you suck , xuanle.

too emotional.

whats is this feeling...
i hate this feeling...
yes, its loathsome...
i been having this feeling since that day...
why is that so...
i feel very uncomfortable...
very irritated...
no longer that happy girl...
back to the negative side?
GAHHH! STOP IT XUANLE...
i don want to go back to square one...
you know how horrible it feels already...

normal day.

i'm not a piccoloist but i am a flautist :](i look abit retarded :/)


JOIN BAND. LOL(over liao la, dumb dumb)
and thats one of my cute flute junior.

* = = = = = = = = = *

konbanwa, mina-san!!
i'm blogging again! :D
today nothing much happened..
school as per normal..
DnT. figured what i am going to do le :D
FN they today got trial excecution.
ahaha sampled some of their food.
all quite yummy :D
and i end up no need to eat lunch. ahaha
the after school went studying with zhu, xin, joel and FD(dont know how spell :X)
then about dinner time go home then i makan dinner with zhu.
then go home.
hmm.. today nothing to post about..
i have pictures to blog that why i blog :]
tmr got band.. :/
i wonder when will our band return to our original spirit..
:[
band is getting too too sian. :[

time for me to bathe :]
feel so icky and sticky. X[
so
sayonara ~!

w/ much love,
Saaphir. :]
xoxo

Japan Exchange.

konbanwa! mina-san.
i'm blogging :D
yay!
but..

i have nothing to blog about. ._.


me and xin's group :D at least have photo. WooT.

oh got. regarding yesterday de CIP :]
exchange prog. with the kawaii JAp students :]
our group was spilt into small groups
brought them around the school
mixed around abit.
get to know their names but only manage to remember 3
ayoko, yoko and emi
sorry to say the remaining one cannot remember
ahaha..
we went to the mosque after the school tour..
then me and xin escaped out from being tour guides of the mosque.
and only to find alot of people outside too.
suddenly it rained.
OMG. everyone's shoes were out in the open everyone quickly take umbrella shield the shoes
and then people started chionging back to school while some of us man man lai.
wah lao suddenly we walk half way.. heavy downpour! wa all chiong and some(like me)
gan chiong open umbrella..
it was a funny scene everyone wet and drenched.
suddenly daphne came over to get shelter ahaha.
then after that they gave us origamis as farewell token.
awwwww......
although origami isnt much but! well, we just knew each other.
and the thought that they made it already for us. ahaha.
i wonder if i stayed moody that day what would happen..
xD


the origamis!

RANDOM PHOTOS


it was once a huge chunk of my life..
now it is just emptiness...mr er..



the one day acuvue lens that made my eyes big , black and spectacles-less.
p/s its was used before de. LOL

about time i got to sleep liao..
blogged cause i really have nothing to do
since zhu slept, and i have no one to chat with me.
so its time for me to go get my beauty sleep.

sayonara and oyasumi mina-san

p/s. for a more detailed update for me self, when i recollect my past, on mon got a tongue piercing by Ritsa. and i was dumb enough to try change the stud on the next day(tues). and end up closing the hole. but this stubborn mind wont give up without a try so with multiple tries failed with some bloodshed and plus my mum came home i gave up :/ and decided to wait till i am 16 and have the money to go for the professional one. :D

i'm lovin' it. :]

Quizzy Post

Quizzes :]

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education

You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

*_____________________________________________________*

What type of personality do you have?

Here is the analysis:

Kind and Gentle

Your kindness is your charm - you are also gentle and sweet. Everybody likes to be around people with your personality. Like a psychologist, people like to talk to you to discuss their problems because you are proper and discrete, as well as confident. You look mature and people respect you. People with this kind of character are few and far between.

*_____________________________________________________*

What's your personality love style?

Here is the analysis:

You desire a love that will last forever. You are quite serious about finding this type of love, and that's why you think carefully about the men that you meet before deciding whether you could really love them. You don't just develop a crush on someone overnight: you look at a person's personality and other aspects of their life before deciding to form an attachment. If a guy doesn't meet your expectations, you would rather be alone. Your love has to be perfect. Be careful though, you could be missing out on some worthy relationships because your standards are so high.

*_____________________________________________________*

ahaha i bo liao. :]
sayonara~

p/s the quizzes are from QuizBox

w/ loves,
Saaphir*

AVP2 + SP concert

i can no longer be that person anymore. sorry..

5th Jan.
CCA fair for sec 1s..
performing at hall..
we were expecting to see alot of sec 1s flooding the hall...
but! all we see are parents...
wtf la...
if we play for both parent and sec 1s its be great!
but only parents???
so next year there will be about 20 parents joining the band.
AR?!
zzz sian diao...
after performing went down to our booth to wait for parents and students to come walk around.
After waiting for about 1 HOUR PLUS!!!!
FINALLY they come down.. then the percussion keep performing...
funny thing is no one clapped. LOL
then we started dragging sec 1s alot of them shun us away..
while some declined straight in our faces..
some of us(band) just slacked around...
eh... who arh?...
me lor :D
then after CCA fair.
debra, xinyi, sheeyee and yaoming came my house,
to watch a documentary movie, "an inconvenient truth"
i watch some already but i some part haven watch...
xinyi and sheeyee slowly fell asleep...
yaoming joined in too go lala land...
and then me. O.o
LOL i think debra was the only one who lasted thru out the whole movie...
then after the movie..
xin wanted to cut fringe so debra and sheeyee accompanied her..
left yaoming at my house(feel quite weird, ahaha)
cause he wanna watch dragonaut.
then after that go down to meet debra they all..
after all go home. go home change. went down makan with stephen.
then go over my ah ma house wait for all my cousin to reach.
then off we go to watch AVP2 :D
(my uncle treating us(THE COUSINS xcluding my bro))
Movie rating: 3.5 stars. :/
no storyline.
not much things
alien, predator, predalien, blood, gore, violence and gruesome scenes
AVP nicer ba... the predator still make friends with human neh..
the predator love blackies LOLOLOL.
=.=

6th Jan SP Concert
wah 31th concert liao leh...
ahaha went with debra, xinyi, yaoming, joel, zi xuan, huaiyue, yihang and hazri
all the songs never heard before except Inn of Sixth Happiness.
nice nice :D all went to hear the Inn nia.. ahaha
next year SP concert WATCh OUT for me, xinyi and yaoming!!!!
We WILL be IN THERE! LOLLOL
maybe ba. if we can.
the after that we took photos. :D


sheeyee took this. P.s my hair.

see la! take somemore!

them.

XXYYZ gang LOL!

me and debra. :]

after that went lau pa sat. eat
alot of things ar!!! esp xinyi, sheeyee and debra.
ahaha.. then go home noh.. then chat about yihang china life.
ahaha.. Tmr School and study with holys. :]
Sg Poly. XUANLE JIAYOU! :D
self motivation is necessary.

w/ loves,
Saaphir*

Lalalas

today band practice was a waste of time..
whats with the choosing of committee list going by popularity..
wtf la... think about it la, some people will be hurt during the process leh...
what if you call their name no one votes???
how would you feel?...
although you may not want to be a committee member...
but to find out you are not so popular with everyone is kinda depressing leh...
i don like the way the band runs now..
really don like it...
feel like going home the whole day...
and whats with the school and teacher la...
teachers are our example~
we follow them so we lie, we become cunning and become bitches and bastards.
whats with all the lies and all the not-working-brain washing chat?
how would you know our feelings to Mr Er,
our unwillingness to let go feeling to Mr Er,
and how would you know how much we LOVE Mr Er?!?!
we are with him for 3+years,
and you??? 1 pathetic year ONLY!!!
What FUCK do you KNOW?!
the words you use don work,
the way you speak gives you off,
the way you look with scheming eyes.
those croc tears. don waste them.
i FUCKING HATE this school la...
NO MONEY NO MONEY...
FUCK LA... VB got money!
overseas trip gott moneyy!
band conductor....
....
....
NO MONEY!
you say this is all for our own good.
go eat shit la...
its not for our own good.
its to your advantage..

lols. anger vented.
mind still clouded with doubts..
but time to share abit of previous events.
due to my laziness,
the photo are uploaded without summary of what happen that day..


drew this during maths lesson :X

Saw Zai Zai at Imm. :D *faints*

COuntDOwn 08'
Section 1





first ever photo with 'Zhu' :]

DOing BAnner










The banner design was chosen by Mr Er...
i wanted to make a very nice one for him...
as i was never the one to be under his attention..
i want him to praise me at least one time...
and he did... but that was the one and only time...

actually very little photo but take quite long to upload luhh!
end here liao.

w/ love,
Saaphir*


i am not that girl and neither do i will be.

First day of school

the first day of school...
one day closer to O level.
~.~ not ready...
need buck up ler~~
haiii...
i don like my class room..
during early classes the sun,
wahh damn glaring la..
then i sit under the fan, super cold lo..
change place? cannot~..
according register num. zzz...
form teacher: Mrs Wee
Co-form: Ms June Yap
haiyo... i hope i this year can make it on time lo...
suddenly my mindset change liao...
want keep aiming higher and higher...
nvm TRY! must believe in myself...
maybe reconsidering to take MT...
ah~
my blog boring liao hoh?...
no much updates...
update also don know what i saying or boring day lifes..
ahaha sorry ar... i got nothing to blog about as i have a simple yet sucky life..
shall end here today..
tataas~

w/ loves,
Saaphir*

feelings...

the happier i look.. the worse i feel inside..
thought to try make you happier,
but.. i guess you'll just feel worse..
all i can say is i'm sorry..
the truth will never be known..